Achilles Abas: The Exterminating Angel
[ ~ Another Saturday Slam concluded. Thousands of disappointed wrestling fans walked away from the arena disgusted with the No Name Wrestling Organization because they dint presented the main eventer, the show stopper, the real deal: Achilles Abas. Hello, it's me again, The Narrator. How are you? I'm fine, thanks for asking. Last week was a stupid week for wrestling fans because of the feud that it’s heating up behind the curtains: hey, that song is mine. Whatever. Don't you think that wrestlers should be concern about their performances in the square circle rather than their entrance music? But, whom I'm kidding, the NNW employees doesn’t care about performances, they care about money. And selling CDs with their tracks on it is apparently is the main focus right now. I think Achilles Abas should consider dropping the World Heavyweight Championship Belt and form a dancing act. Ha! with Hanson's MMMBop as his entrance theme. Hilarious! ~ ]
[ ~ Picture this: Tuesday, February 22, 2000. Grammy Night's Eve. Oh, what a coincidence! With all this feuding, I suggest that every wrestler in the NNW roster turn tomorrow night to the Grammy show so they can hear alternatives for their entrance music. And to have an idea on how to entertain masses. Just watch Ricky Martin, he's a terrible singer, but he is one hell of a performer. Just imagine Abel shaking his ass to the rhythm of Shake Your Bon Bon while he walks to the ring. Fans screaming out loud how *** he looks will bust ratings. And then, with the beating he will take for a third time from the master Achilles Abas, this Rage will go down into NNW history as the most viewed show in network television. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh shit, I have a work to do ... ~ ]
[ ~ Picture this: Tuesday, February 22, 2000. Hell! do you want to know where is your almighty champion? Do you care about his location? NO. You just fast-forward all my talking to his talking because you don't give a shit about me, the Narrator. So screw you! I'm taking a vacation ... ~ ]
[ ~ End of The Narrator's transmission ~ ]
[ ~ Scene description: Achilles Abas is in his New York's house on Long Island. We see Achilles Abas working on his laptop computer. The music of Britney Spear's "Baby One More Time" is playing aloud. The NNW World Heavyweight Championship Belt is laying over the couch. ~ ]
"I must confess that my loneliness is killing me now. Baby, don't you know I still believe that you will be here. So give me a sign. Hit me baby one more time."
[ ~ Achilles Abas hits Send with the mouse's pointer. He laughs aloud. Achilles Abas walks to the couch and takes his World Belt. He passes bye the radio and turns it of. Britney Spears is shout out. Once again, Abas laughs aloud. He walks out of the room. He enters the hallway and rushes himself to the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator and grabs a Heineken. He opens it and drinks. Achilles walks away from the kitchen to the living room. He grabs the remote control and turns on the TV. There we see El Loco ... ~ ]
" ... this is a new and improved El Loco and I will not lose to anybody and AA the Absolute Asshole I will get that World Title from you!!! ... "
[ ~ Achilles Abas laughs and spits beer all over the sofa with the stupid comments of El Loco. Achilles replay ... ~ ]
† I like El Loco's new gimmick: the courageous fool. And I liked the most when he said that AA stands for Absolute Asshole. That's impressive. Stupid, but impressive. His new determination to squash the World Champion is a sign of improvement. But, El Loco is just that, loco. We both now that you aren't capable of pin me for this precious belt you like the most. Of course, I'm a fighting champion, beside those stupid rumors flying on the net that I'm not, so one day Loco, you will get a chance to meet the true ruler of the NNW: Achilles Abas, for the World Heavyweight Championship Belt and Title. Of course kid, you have to climb the ladder to reach me, and right now you are just in the first step of a very tall ladder. But, like your enemy said, there are always shortcuts to reach me, and I proposed last week that the first courageous fool who brings me the decapitated head of Dustin Jacobs will win an instant title shot to the World Heavyweight Championship Belt. Is so easy Loco, just kill him and you will be granted a chance to kill me. But, we all know what will be the outcome, Achilles Abas once again tearing up apart his prey. But, shhhh don't tell that, people down here are getting sick and tired of loosing to me. But, what can I do? I'm the better man. So Loco, are you gonna accept my challenge? It's a great challenge: El Loco vs. Achilles Abas for the World Heavyweight Championship Belt and Title at ABASMANIA the Pay-Per-View. Don't you think it, bring it. And hurry up 'cause maybe another courageous fool can bring it first than you and your chance for this belt will be vanish 'cause Loco, you don't have championship material to climb the ladder and reach me. You are stuck in a division ruled by El Grande. Ha! shit, I always forget that El Grande isn't wrestling here under that gimmick. †
[ ~ Achilles Abas laughs as he fast forward the video tape. Now we see Abel, Achilles Abas newest opponent for Saturday Slam ... ~ ]
" ... Be a man and put the f##king World Title On the line! I’m tired of fighting you without that title on the Line so if you have any ounce of Courage in you, you will put that Belt on the Line ... "
[ ~ Achilles replays to Abel, Mr. Intensity's comments ... ~ ]
† Why I must wrestle Abel, The Intensive one for a third time? Is there any reason for that booking? No, there aren't reasons for that booking because I have defeated Abel twice in my wrestling career here in the NNW. First, I powerbombed him at Takeover 2000 for the World Belt, then two days later, I applied the Heel on him at Wednesday Rage to retain the World Belt. And now I must face him again? I don't have anything else to prove against him, I'm the better man from both of us, which’s why I'm holding the World Belt. But, I will not bitch and I will enter the ring, once again, for a three's a charm sweep over Abel, The Intensive One. Abel you got your chance to the World Belt and you blew it. And that's not my fault. Beside, my contract states the following: If Achilles Abas Etbauer became NNW World Heavyweight Champion, he must defend the World Heavyweight Championship Title every 30 days in a special event or Pay-Per-View; or when Mr. Achilles Abas Etbauer wants too. Capish? Wataka? Entiende? Ha! Ha! Ha! Apparently Abel, you don't read your contracts. Or you don't read at all? I'm not obligated to defend my World Title against you. But, as the fighting Champion that I am, I will grant you an opportunity of facing me, this Rage and if you pin me, then, I will put the Title on the line the upcoming Saturday Slam against you. If you fail to deliver, then Abel, you are history. Ha! And you are already history because after I hit the Heel on you, you will become the only wrestler to have the most lost to the same wrestler. Ha! Ha! Ha! †
† But Abel, there's always a shortcut like Chambers said last week. And, last week I proposed that the courageous fool who is brave enough to bring me the decapitated head of Dustin Jacobs would be granted an instant Title Shot. It’s so easy. I don't do it myself 'cause, I don't have time for him. I have bigger things to think about that facing Dustin Jacobs. So, there you have it. Don't think it, bring it. †
† Never the less, I don't think the NNW roster is prepared for those type of, events. And that's a shame 'cause I'm pure creativeness. In fact Abel, here's a crazy idea. To increase the probability of me, Achilles Abas, pinned by you next Slam, let's make our match a dark room match. Its simple: the last man standing will be awarded the triumph. If you are that last man, you will be recognized as the first man to defeat Achilles Abas and you will be granted that title shot you want the most. And don't get me wrong, this match isn't an ordinary boiler room match, it’s a room with no light sources, with no oxygen sources, with no humans refereeing us. Just the two of us, playing hide and seek 'till one of us is found death. I got chills already and we are days apart of it. Don't you be the coward, accept the Achilles' Challenge. †
[ ~ Achilles laughs aloud. He fast forward Abel and Johnathan Chambers till Bing's comments ... ~ ]
"Picture this -Achilles Abas in the ring screaming in pain, while Bing strengthens the Dominican death grip hold. Achilles Abas has just found out that he could not compete with a wrestler like Bing."
[ ~ Achilles laughs his ass out with this one. Achilles replays ... ~ ]
† Ok, let me get this straight. You are trying to mock me? Ha! Ha! Ha! Bing, I now I'm your fantasy because I am the reality. You wish, you pray, you sell your soul to Lucifer just to be like me. But Bing, you aren't. And Hell doesn’t want your Dominican soul either. So you will remain stuck in that level you are 'cause you don't have other tactics to claim the other's attention. Beside, I defeated you in my first match. I was named the Biggest Surprise of the Week, Cinematographer of the Week, Entertainer of the Week by the Shaddy one, or what ever his name is. Bing, I crushed you and if you think you are willing to compete successfully with me, I will enter the square ring once again and bring you to reality: Achilles Abas' reality. If you are mad because I prayed to my lord of darkness that The Unknown raped your wife, fuck you! I have the right to do whatever I want to do because I am the World Heavyweight Champion. Something you will never, and I mean ever, will accomplish again. For this belt, you are a disgrace. What else can I expect from a lowlife Dominican like you. You should learn from masters like Juan Luis Guerra and Charytin. Those are great entertainers. But you, ha! you don't deserve the attention, the paycheck, nothing from the wrestling industry 'cause you aren't a wrestler. Keep acting like a mad man, maybe you will receive a Razzie Award for the Worst Supporting Actor in a Series. Bing, your ass is grass and some gay of yours will gonna smoke it. But with me Bing, don't you bitch. I beat you once, I can tear you apart next one. †
[ ~ Achilles goes serious and says ... ~ ]
† Now to my newest rival: Johnathan Chambers. Why I'm a personal problem to you? I haven't done anything to you man. But, I know your tactics pal, you ..... †
[ ~ End of Achilles' transmission ~ ]
[ ~ Sorry about that, this is The Narrator. Did you miss me already? I do miss my work of narrating for my boss, Achilles Abas. So, I'm back. Forgive me Achilles, I will never, ever, walk away from you. You are my hero. And for you I kill. ~ ]
[ ~ Scene frizzes ~ ]